First Thought

“Really? I am so done with humans. Really I am. Just kill them all.”

Second Thought

“Ok the thought that we are doing nothing to decrease gun violence makes me angry, but how violent do I sound right now?  I’m so glad I am aware of my thoughts and don’t act on them like others do. I know that I too am human and as Maya Angelou once said, “Nothing that is human is alien to me.” Yet I want to more than human, I strive to be humane and I want to have humane or better yet divine thoughts.

Yet and still I accept my gremlin or lower self and my imperfection because self-hate does indeed exist. One of the most insightful quotes I’ve ever heard is “hurt people hurt people and healed people heal people.” So I believe no matter your background or upbringing we all want the same thing. We want to live whole and happy lives. We want to believe we have power over our lives. When there’s a question we want to limit other people. We want to infringe on their civil, natural, or human rights. Oppressed groups also do have to work extra hard not to internalize the hate that is projected towards them.

Our corrupt system that places profit over people wants us all to be ponds, not those who ponder. It wants us to blame the gremlin or monsters and not the conditions that created it. Don’t let the media divide you by comparing your pain.

I understand there may be an emotional charge if you feel like someone didn’t lower a flag or offer a national day of pause for your loss but this is not a race to the bottom. We are in a state of emergency but it’s also the nature of the universe. There’s sonic booms from time to time and when we’re birthing something new it can get bloody but let’s believe that a blessing is on the way.

Beware of jealousy as l say in my  poem “WAR” it causes the most division and pain. A paper cut on the wrong day can be lethal. You never know what someone is going through, so the challenge is to be kind. Wake up and look around and you and you’ll find we’re all in the same boat, sharing the same water, land, and air. And I do strive to be always divine yet I truly don’t  know if we only live once or if this life is but a dream.

What I do know is what I feel. Mother Earth feels like she’s in pain to me and we have to stop hurting the planet, ourselves, and each other if we want to survive. My umoja mantra from my Kwanzaa CD gave me life recently and it reminds me to speak life daily.

We are all worthwhile
All blood bleeds the same
I pay attention
When they call your name